Last Updated: Thursday 17th Jan 2008
It was a Saturday night, and I found myself frequenting a nightclub with a group of friends, such was the custom at that time. As 2am arrived and a sense of desperation filled the air, I approached a lady who I thought looked quite hot. It turned out she was just very sweaty. As she made her intentions clear, I made the cardinal error of not topping up my alcohol level before exiting the building. On the taxi ride home, sobriety kicked in like a tortured mule.
Within two minutes of entering my humble abode, she was parading shamelessly in her birthday suit. It was at this stage that I fully appreciated the gravity of the situation. Unfortunately, my plea to go directly to the cigarette fell upon deaf ears. Without going into too much detail of what followed, I can confirm that I didn’t get a wink of sleep all night, and I’ve struggled to get my head down ever since.
As the dawn approached like a guardian angel, I plucked up the courage to ask her to leave by the back door, which was somewhat ironic. I made a conscious decision that morning to never return to the club, as the experience left me close to a breakdown. Kevin Keegan has been far less pragmatic. I do expect a significant short-term improvement for the Toon Army; I’ll be getting on the Geordies at 5/6 at home to Bolton.
I was quite surprised that Steve Bruce was never approached by Mike Ashley. Bruce has been in charge of Wigan for about seven weeks, so he is definitely due a move. I expect to see a massive move on Everton to beat Wigan at an exceedingly pleasant 11/8.
Fulham FC share a trait of mine: they start off quickly, but lack stamina. The Cottagers have lost a lead in 10 of their 22 Premier League matches this season, blowing 25 points in the process. I can only put Fulham’s lack or resolve down to poor conditioning; I’ll buy them a case of ‘Wash & Go’ after Arsenal turn them over at 8/15.
Blackburn are still struggling to find a replacement for Robbie Savage. They came close last week, but Sun Hill refused to release Gillian Taylforth. I‘m diving on the 4/5 for a Blackburn win over Middlesbrough.
With matches at White Hart Lane producing an average of 5.1 goals, Juande Ramos has been forced to tighten up at the back; so he’s dropped Paul Robinson like an opinionated girlfriend. Spurs are on an upward curve as a result, they’re a confident selection at 4/9 against Sunderland.
Manchester City are a Jekyll and Hyde club. When they play at home, they’re an object of unquestionable beauty, yet when they leave Eastlands, they’re as useful as a military recruitment centre in Paris. West Ham are making the now familiar trip to the City of Manchester Stadium, you have to like the even money for another home win.
I was genuinely surprised by the amount of appearances made by a relatively young Jamie Carragher. I haven’t seen 500 clocked up so quickly since the wife last stood on the scales. A Liverpool win over Villa will be a weight off my mind; I’m playing heavily at 4/6.
Ronaldo is on course to be the first wide man since George Best to receive the Golden Boot. There are many similarities between the two players. Best was a Manchester United hero, as is Ronaldo. Best was a phenomenal dribbler, as is the Portuguese step-over expert. Best loved his women. I’ll be trying to get on Manchester United at 4/9 to beat Reading.
John Terry has been outed as a Manchester United supporter, further perpetrating the myth that most of United’s support originates in London. That’s an insult to the Chinese. I’ll take it as a personal insult if Chelsea slip up against Birmingham at 4/6.
After starting the season on fire, Benjani has reverted to type. If missed chances were pints of lager, he’d have a liver like George Best. I’m taking a chance on the draw between Portsmouth and Derby at 10/3.
I can’t think of George Best without remembering the time that I had a badly damaged organ. That night still haunts me, and I can’t sleep without the aid of sedatives. Luckily, I’ve been carrying them around with me for a number of years, as you never know when opportunity will knock.
Chelsea, Tottenham, Newcastle, Everton and Liverpool form a fantastic 15/1 betting opportunity that only comes along once every seven days.
Weekend Betting:
Birmingham v Chelsea Saturday 19th January 15:00
Birmingham 11/2
Draw 27/10
Chelsea 4/6
Get on: Chelsea
Match Special:
Anelka to score the only goal of the game 22/1
Blackburn v Middlesbrough Saturday 19th January 15:00
Blackburn 4/5
Draw 13/5
Middlesbrough 4/1
Get on: Blackburn
Match Special:
Bentley to score from outside of the penalty area 13/2
Fulham v Arsenal Saturday 19th January 15:00
Fulham 7/1
Draw 3/1
Arsenal 8/15
Get on: Arsenal
Match Special:
Eduardo and Adebayor both to score 11/2
Portsmouth v Derby Saturday 19th January 15:00
Portsmouth 4/9
Draw 10/3
Derby 8/1
Get on: Draw
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 12/1
Reading v Man Utd Saturday 19th January 15:00
Reading 8/1
Draw 7/2
Man Utd 4/9
Get on: Man Utd
Match Special:
Ronaldo to score direct from a free kick 6/1
Tottenham v Sunderland Saturday 19th January 15:00
Tottenham 4/9
Draw 16/5
Sunderland 7/1
Get on: Tottenham
Match Special:
Robbie Keane to score two or more goals 5/1
Newcastle v Bolton Saturday 19th January 17:15 Live on Setanta
Newcastle 5/6
Draw 12/5
Bolton 10/3
Get on: Newcastle
Match Special:
Owen to score a hat-trick 33/1
Wigan v Everton Sunday 20th January 13:30 Live on Sky
Wigan 11/5
Draw 23/10
Everton 11/8
Get on: Everton
Match Special:
Arteta to score at any time 5/1
Man City v West Ham Sunday 20th January 16:00 Live on Sky
Man City Evs
Draw 12/5
West Ham 3/1
Get on: Man City
Match Special:
Petrov to score the first goal 9/1
Liverpool v Aston Villa Monday 21st January 20:00 Live on Setanta
Liverpool 4/6
Draw 14/5
Aston Villa 11/2
Get on: Liverpool
Match Special: Liverpool to win and keep a clean sheet 17/10
Weekend Betting Preview
by Gerry McDonnellRings That Go Bump In The Night
My heart goes out to the clinically depressed and the morbidly obese, but I have a genuine illness; I suffer from sleep deprivation. I believe my condition is a result of an incident that occurred many years ago, when I was naïve enough to believe that physical attractiveness was not an essential requirement in the process of potential mate selection.It was a Saturday night, and I found myself frequenting a nightclub with a group of friends, such was the custom at that time. As 2am arrived and a sense of desperation filled the air, I approached a lady who I thought looked quite hot. It turned out she was just very sweaty. As she made her intentions clear, I made the cardinal error of not topping up my alcohol level before exiting the building. On the taxi ride home, sobriety kicked in like a tortured mule.
Within two minutes of entering my humble abode, she was parading shamelessly in her birthday suit. It was at this stage that I fully appreciated the gravity of the situation. Unfortunately, my plea to go directly to the cigarette fell upon deaf ears. Without going into too much detail of what followed, I can confirm that I didn’t get a wink of sleep all night, and I’ve struggled to get my head down ever since.
As the dawn approached like a guardian angel, I plucked up the courage to ask her to leave by the back door, which was somewhat ironic. I made a conscious decision that morning to never return to the club, as the experience left me close to a breakdown. Kevin Keegan has been far less pragmatic. I do expect a significant short-term improvement for the Toon Army; I’ll be getting on the Geordies at 5/6 at home to Bolton.
I was quite surprised that Steve Bruce was never approached by Mike Ashley. Bruce has been in charge of Wigan for about seven weeks, so he is definitely due a move. I expect to see a massive move on Everton to beat Wigan at an exceedingly pleasant 11/8.
Fulham FC share a trait of mine: they start off quickly, but lack stamina. The Cottagers have lost a lead in 10 of their 22 Premier League matches this season, blowing 25 points in the process. I can only put Fulham’s lack or resolve down to poor conditioning; I’ll buy them a case of ‘Wash & Go’ after Arsenal turn them over at 8/15.
Blackburn are still struggling to find a replacement for Robbie Savage. They came close last week, but Sun Hill refused to release Gillian Taylforth. I‘m diving on the 4/5 for a Blackburn win over Middlesbrough.
With matches at White Hart Lane producing an average of 5.1 goals, Juande Ramos has been forced to tighten up at the back; so he’s dropped Paul Robinson like an opinionated girlfriend. Spurs are on an upward curve as a result, they’re a confident selection at 4/9 against Sunderland.
Manchester City are a Jekyll and Hyde club. When they play at home, they’re an object of unquestionable beauty, yet when they leave Eastlands, they’re as useful as a military recruitment centre in Paris. West Ham are making the now familiar trip to the City of Manchester Stadium, you have to like the even money for another home win.
I was genuinely surprised by the amount of appearances made by a relatively young Jamie Carragher. I haven’t seen 500 clocked up so quickly since the wife last stood on the scales. A Liverpool win over Villa will be a weight off my mind; I’m playing heavily at 4/6.
Ronaldo is on course to be the first wide man since George Best to receive the Golden Boot. There are many similarities between the two players. Best was a Manchester United hero, as is Ronaldo. Best was a phenomenal dribbler, as is the Portuguese step-over expert. Best loved his women. I’ll be trying to get on Manchester United at 4/9 to beat Reading.
John Terry has been outed as a Manchester United supporter, further perpetrating the myth that most of United’s support originates in London. That’s an insult to the Chinese. I’ll take it as a personal insult if Chelsea slip up against Birmingham at 4/6.
After starting the season on fire, Benjani has reverted to type. If missed chances were pints of lager, he’d have a liver like George Best. I’m taking a chance on the draw between Portsmouth and Derby at 10/3.
I can’t think of George Best without remembering the time that I had a badly damaged organ. That night still haunts me, and I can’t sleep without the aid of sedatives. Luckily, I’ve been carrying them around with me for a number of years, as you never know when opportunity will knock.
Chelsea, Tottenham, Newcastle, Everton and Liverpool form a fantastic 15/1 betting opportunity that only comes along once every seven days.
Weekend Betting:
Birmingham v Chelsea Saturday 19th January 15:00
Birmingham 11/2
Draw 27/10
Chelsea 4/6
Get on: Chelsea
Match Special:
Anelka to score the only goal of the game 22/1
Blackburn v Middlesbrough Saturday 19th January 15:00
Blackburn 4/5
Draw 13/5
Middlesbrough 4/1
Get on: Blackburn
Match Special:
Bentley to score from outside of the penalty area 13/2
Fulham v Arsenal Saturday 19th January 15:00
Fulham 7/1
Draw 3/1
Arsenal 8/15
Get on: Arsenal
Match Special:
Eduardo and Adebayor both to score 11/2
Portsmouth v Derby Saturday 19th January 15:00
Portsmouth 4/9
Draw 10/3
Derby 8/1
Get on: Draw
Match Special:
No goalscorer in the match 12/1
Reading v Man Utd Saturday 19th January 15:00
Reading 8/1
Draw 7/2
Man Utd 4/9
Get on: Man Utd
Match Special:
Ronaldo to score direct from a free kick 6/1
Tottenham v Sunderland Saturday 19th January 15:00
Tottenham 4/9
Draw 16/5
Sunderland 7/1
Get on: Tottenham
Match Special:
Robbie Keane to score two or more goals 5/1
Newcastle v Bolton Saturday 19th January 17:15 Live on Setanta
Newcastle 5/6
Draw 12/5
Bolton 10/3
Get on: Newcastle
Match Special:
Owen to score a hat-trick 33/1
Wigan v Everton Sunday 20th January 13:30 Live on Sky
Wigan 11/5
Draw 23/10
Everton 11/8
Get on: Everton
Match Special:
Arteta to score at any time 5/1
Man City v West Ham Sunday 20th January 16:00 Live on Sky
Man City Evs
Draw 12/5
West Ham 3/1
Get on: Man City
Match Special:
Petrov to score the first goal 9/1
Liverpool v Aston Villa Monday 21st January 20:00 Live on Setanta
Liverpool 4/6
Draw 14/5
Aston Villa 11/2
Get on: Liverpool
Match Special: Liverpool to win and keep a clean sheet 17/10
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10/01/2008